Rob Ryan versus Willy Wonka

While watching Monday Night Football we noticed a startling similarity between the Dallas Cowboys' defensive coordinator Rob Ryan (brother of Jets head coach Rex Ryan) and one of my favorite childhood films. It's the hair.

Don’t Put Me In Coach Book Review

I just finished “Don’t Put Me In, Coach: My Incredible NCAA Journey from the end of the bench to the end of the bench” by Ohio State walk on Mark Titus. Mark was a bench warmer on the Ohio State basketball team from 2006 to 2010. His Club Trillion blog launched him into the media spotlight and his career took off from there. The book is a funny journey into the locker room of the Buckeye basketball team. You will learn things you never knew about some of the most famous Ohio State basketball players of all time. I’ll never look at college basketball coach Thad Matta the same way ever again (the part where Mark describes the first time he met Thad is unforgettable). Get the inside scoop on the personality of players like Greg Oden and Evan “the Villain” Turner. Find out what really goes on in practice and overnight away game trips. 


The book, while a fun and easy read, is far from perfect. The beginning was laugh out loud funny and quite refreshing. However, the same style of humor and very similar jokes throughout make it increasingly not as funny the further you read into it. Also, a majority of the jokes are bathroom style humor, so if that’s not your thing then I recommend not reading. It’s very hard to tell what is true and what was fabricated for entertainment purposes. You find out how to earn a trillion in basketball stats but I found that segment of the book rather uninspiring (but maybe you other walk ons and benchwarmers will find it inspirational).


Regardless, if you’re a fan of OSU basketball I highly recommend you read  “Don’t Put me in, Coach.” The insight into how past Buckeye team’s chemistry was is something all hardcore fans crave and on that front Mark delivers in delicious doses.


Embedded below is a video Mark “The shark” (yes, that is the nickname he gave himself) Titus created and uploaded to YouTube. As he likes to say, he is “making it rain.” If you do decide to read you should watch Mark’s YouTube videos because he does refer to them in the book.

I'm published - again!

I've recently published my second book and my first fictional story, entitled Nike's Chinese New Year.

Are you looking for information about the Chinese New Year festival? Do you want to know more about Chinese culture and traditions? Well, there is a new book out that might be exactly what you’re looking for! This is a special treat for those with a curiosity in China who enjoy erupting in laughter. Some educational topics about China woven into the story include: traffic in China, communism vs. capitalism, food and cuisine, customs, holiday celebrations, fireworks, prostitution, tigers, and more. Learn about exotic locations such as Suzhou, Harbin, and Beijing. Other themes found in the book are coming of age, how to make a life altering decision, relationships, and much more! 

Here are a few excerpts from Nike's Chinese New Year:

               While most citizens of the United States were exchanging flowers, candy, and cards for Valentine’s Day, the Chinese were busy celebrating their most important traditional holiday. The Spring Festival began on the first day of the first lunar month and was otherwise known as the Chinese New Year...In fact, I’m told the Chinese New Year is the world’s largest human migration as millions of Chinese workers travel home to their families. Eric even claimed that trains are so overcrowded people wear diapers for their multi-hour long journeys home. 

Traffic in China, the way I see it, is a free-for-all. There appear to be no road rules at all, and if you survive the day, you’ll do it all again the next day. The stoplights that they do have must only be for decoration. Taxi drivers drive in the middle of two lanes so they can swing into either one of them as needed. They don’t have roundabouts in China. Roundabouts only function if people follow the rules, hence they don't work here. A roundabout would only add to the chaos. According to my made-up insurance statistics, the most dangerous cars are green and driven by the Chinese.

            Every time I climb into a taxi in China the very first thing I do is fasten my seat belt, pull it as tight as I possibly can, and grab onto anything that feels or looks sturdy. Well, to my wonderful surprise, this particular cab didn’t have a working seat belt. I about had a mild heart attack. I was left with clutching onto the seat in front of me until my knuckles turned white, not daring to open my eyes until we were safely discarded at our destination. 

 

         I managed to swallow the first bite with difficulty.  As I felt it burning its way down my throat, my heart began to do flip flops in my ribcage.  The food hit my stomach like a glob of lava in a lava lamp. Eric watched me worriedly, perhaps concerned I might keel over from the trauma.  When I enthusiastically dug into a second bite, his mouth fell open in amazement.  “I am impressed,” he said.  “That is by far the most dog penis I have ever seen an American succeed in consuming.  Are you well?” 

I'm looking for someone to review my book on Amazon and to give me some feedback. I can possibly send you a free copy if you're interested.


Buy the paperback at the CreateSpace eStore here. 

Buy the ebook Kindle version here.

Best Black Friday Tweets!

You know it was coming. Here are my favorite black friday tweets that I saw. Please comment any others. I'd love to read them. Be careful, it's anarchy out there!

• Black Friday was so insane last night. There was a lady driving out of the Walmart parking lot with her van door open.. LOL.
• So far, Portland's Black Friday #occupy protests are far more peaceful than Black Friday WalMart. Zero pepper spray!
• We just tasered a shopper at WalMart:
• no need to ask "where the hoes at tonight?" they at Walmart for #BlackFriday.
• How many people have to die or be injured in a scuffle over cheap goods at Walmart before we'll take a good look at ourselves? #blackfriday
• The blood-stained parking lot of a Walmart store in San Leandro, Calif. where a man was stabbed today - http://twitpic.com/7jkmcq via @DeanCSmith
• I find it funny that u give thanks & act #grateful on thanksgiving & the next day u choking a man at Walmart for a 40 inch TV #BlackFriday
• Those people fighting over the $2 waffle makers at Walmart -- how many times do you think they're actually going to make waffles?
• RT @womanonajourney: #blackfriday A day to rush out & buy new stuff the day after you said you were so grateful for what you had. #irony
• I have to call my mom every half hour to make sure she's still alive because she went shopping today.. #blackfriday

Check back for more updates later...

Following

I just screened Christopher Nolan's FOLLOWING using PS3's Netflix streaming ability. Following is about a British guy who, well, follows people. Until one day he follows the wrong dude and leads him into some serious trouble. This may be Nolan's best movie. It's classic Nolan with events shown out of order. You don't fully realize what is going on until the final minute of the film and when it's over it leaves you thinking about it. Talk about doing a lot with a little. This movie just proves that story is everything (and not huge budgets for CGI effects). Also, 23 minutes in you can see the Batman symbol on a door; how cool is that? I've embedded the trailer below.

How to make a slide show for a wedding?

I am currently working on a slide show for my upcoming wedding and I have learned a few tidbits that I would like to pass on to you. Here is my advice to put together the perfect wedding slidehow.

Every picture needs to illicit an emotional response from the audience. A good length is around 8 minutes, or approximately two full length songs. Too much longer and folks begin to get bored. I plan on breaking my slide show down into four distinct sections, separated by a title card with some of my favorite song lyrics.

1. Fun - goofy pictures, road trips, etc.
2. Childhood - from baby to adult picture of bride then groom
3. Friends - try to include picture of guests you know will be in attendance so they will feel involved and keeps them engaged in the slideshow
4. Love - it's your wedding and the focus should be on the lucky couple. smiling, close together, hugging, kissing, cuddling, cutesy, etc.

I'm using Pinnacle Movie Maker which has a Create Smart Movie function. I'll put the pictures in the order that I want then all I have to do is push a button and it will automatically create all the transitions and slow zooms for me. A little cleanup is almost always required for perfection but it really makes the process quite easy. I plan on using the songs "Seasons" by Mae and a piano cover of Depeche Mode's "Somebody".

Book and Movie Reviews from last month

I just finished the Imperial Cruise by James Bradley. It was alright. Not what I was expecting. It almost makes you feel embarrassed to be an American. Did you know that on a per month basis Americans killed more Philippians than Hitler’s Holocaust? Scary stuff and no one wonder some of these countries hate us.

I also screen the HURT LOCKER and THE INVENTION OF LYING. HURT LOCKER was good, one of the most suspenseful and tense movies I’ve ever seen. My extremely high opinion of the movie dropped off a little when I read some reviews by soldiers who fought in Iraq. Apparently the movie is extremely inaccurate, which is sad but again, it’s a movie so you have to kind of expect that.

THE INTVENTION OF LYING was ok. A few humorous spots but nothing really hilarious, which is sad considering the number of funny actors splattered throughout. It ended up going in a different direction than I thought it would. I would recommend seeing it once if you don’t have anything to do but that’s enough.

Interesting in making money online? Check out My Make Money Mission.

The Lovely Bones is Better than Avatar

I screened THE LOVELY BONES on Friday. First of all, I have never read the book and didn’t really know anything about the movie going in other than it was a Peter Jackson project. The other thing that I knew was that the movie got really crappy reviews, and I mean really crappy. After seeing the movie for myself I don’t understand why. I am going to chalk it up to a bunch of people who loved the book were extremely disappointed with the movie.



What did I think about it? I liked it. Some of the depictions of heaven were a little over the top and just downright weird (buttery dancing scene anyone?) and I am guessing that soured a lot of would-be-fans right there. The one thing Jackson nailed that no one can complain about was the suspense scenes. They were very well done and really did keep me on the edge of my seat.

If I hadn't known this was a Peter Jackson film going into it, I would have figured it out very quickly. There were some classic Jackson shots directly out of THE LORD OF THE RINGS. By that I mean, just the way the characters were framed in the shot, their head movements towards the camera, focus, pacing, etc. were done EXACTLY the same as in his other movies.

Though I did like it, I didn’t love this movie but I can assure you it was far better than AVATAR, which was the last movie I saw in a theater. AVATAR was supposed to be about these really awesome effects but I thought the effects in THE LOVELY BONES absolutely blew AVATAR away, not to mention the art and creativity was so much better. How does something new and original get such poor reviews and a complete copy of another movie do so well (see Avatar and Pocahontas earlier post)? If you’re going to waste your money on AVATAR then you better give THE LOVELY BONES a try, you might be pleasantly surprised as I was.

Post Holiday Brain Dump

Time to brain dump a number of my thoughts and experiences from the past few days.

Well, the big news is that I got engaged. I proposed to my girlfriend of almost three years at Frankenmuth, Michigan. We told our families on Christmas. Everyone seemed surprised but happy. Not sure when the wedding is going to be yet but it is going to be ahellofalotta work. Any honeymoon suggestions?

I think we played Rock Band 2 almost every day over break. I recommend downloading the free track “Dreaming of Love” by Lights Resolve. I think more bands should promote themselves by giving away free tracks on video games.

I screened Avatar for my cousin’s birthday in 2D. It sucked. Story was totally unoriginal. I think the Hangover and Zombieland were the best movies I saw this past year, but I still need to rent a few that I missed to be sure.

We went to the Columbus Zoo for Wild Lights. I’ll have a complete review along with pictures and videos over on my Zoo Tails blog.

I got two new books for Christmas. I haven’t done a whole lot of book reading lately, I mostly just consume random stuff on the internets. The last book I read, The Berlin Warning by Nicholas Guild, took me almost three months to read, I guess due to lack of interest and commitment. I got Pirate Latitudes by Michael Crichton, a three-hundred page novel about a daring raid on a fortress to seize a Spanish treasure. I finished the book in less than a week. Not only was it extremely easy to read but it was also very interesting and thoroughly engaging. I highly recommend it (or you could wait for the movie). Last night I started The Imperial Cruise by James Bradley. The book itself doesn’t sound that interesting but Bradley’s other novels were very good so I asked for this one based on the strength of the other two. After that I want to read Super Freakonomics.

Ohio State finally won a big game, and what a game it was. My dad is an usher at all the OSU home games so he put on all of his apparel and came into the living room where my family and friends were gathered around the TV and started doing his usher gig, asking to see our “tickets,” directing O-H-I-O cheers and leading the marching band around the room to the music for script Ohio. Good times!

My goal for the new year is to try and make some money off of the internet, which right now would either be from winning a contest, rewards from MyView surveys, or from all of my blogs.

One of my co-workers passed away over break. He was the closest in age to me at the office at 26. Such a shocking surprise and a real shame. I shared an apartment with him for eight while training in Ohio. For those eight weeks that was the best food I have ate consistently since I think I went to college. It’s just a sad reminder that life is precious and can be taken away, unexpectedly, at any moment.

The Holiday High is awesome but the hangover and crash afterwards is hard and horrible. It really sucks going from a sleeping in a house with ten people to an empty apartment all by yourself. That’s the worst part about the holidays, when they end and you have to return to reality and go back to work, pay bills, clean up, put Christmas decorations away, etc. I hate that whole process. For over a week I was surrounded by friends and family having a great time and then suddenly it’s all over. Everyone feels so far away. I think Jesus needs a sibling ( a couple thousand years younger sibling) so we can have more than one Christmas celebration a year.

Harry Potter Construction Update

Coaster101 recently visited Universal’s Island of Adventure Theme Park and we caught a glimpse of construction on the Wizarding World of Harry Potter land debutting in 2010. The new major attraction takes place inside Hogwarts Castle which is a massive structure. Take a look at these pictures and video from November 7th, 2009. Can’t wait to go back to experience the finished product!



Pictures are at Coaster101.

Zombieland Rules

I screened Zombieland this past weekend. Went into the movie thinking it was going to be a bust and left thinking I haven't laughed that hard since the Hangover. Here is one of the rules for surviving Zombieland not mentioned in the movie:

Story is Everything

This is a trailer for the upcoming film "2012." The funny part is all of the GCI affects during this scene have been removed, revealing a tired storyline and bad acting. This is a perfect example of why I think story is everything and proves GCI is way over-used.

Data Mining a Redbox + A Story

Not sure if they do this or if it is even legal, but the folks at Redbox are sitting on a mine of data. The way Redbox works is you swipe your credit card and it vends you a movie of your choice. Think about all the statistics they could track through their one dollar a night DVD vending machines: Average time a movie is rented for, at what time do people typically rent movies and return them, where they are when they use the machine each time, the most popular movies, which age group likes what movies, how often do users rent movies and is it correlated to other events, does the same person use the same redbox regularly, what locations have a higher rental rate based on the store they are located in, etc. Redbox could use the results to stock their machines accordingly. Maybe the machines in Detroit have a higher rental rate for uplifting flicks or comedies and a machine in Florida needs to vend mostly horror movies. The possibilities are endless.




I was returning a DVD to a Redbox machine at my local Kroger grocery store the other day and there was an old man next to me purchasing a lottery ticket. My first thought was “dude, you’re like sixty years old. If you win the lottery you’re not going to have time to enjoy it.” But that’s neither here nor there. So, I was sticking the movie into the machine and the man says to me “Those things are a great deal. I like to rent the DVDs for a night, burn them, and then watch them on my own time. It’s much better than downloading.” Whoa! This creepy old man is illegally burning and downloading movies? That’s just so wrong, on more than one level.

M. Night was right?

I just saw an article on Yahoo "'Toxic' seaweed spreading on France's northern coast". Here is an excerpt:

Mounds of putrified green algae are building up on France's northern coast, releasing poisonous fumes blamed for the recent death of a horse and the collapse of the rider.

This sounds like something directly out of the plot for The Happening. Maybe that movie really wasn't full of crap. Strange.

Worth It

I just received this comment on my "Huron \ Happiness" video on YouTube:

"Superb cinematography and choice of subject and especially pacing of the film with the music. It's as though your film and Happiness had been designed by fate to be paired! The film does this awesome music justice-and that's saying something! I wish Jonsi and Alex could see it. I love the CD, too!"

That really warms my heart. It's comments like that which make it all worth the time and effort of creating something. The fact that someone else appreciates what you've done is pretty cool. Maybe I should try to contact Jonsi and Alex? Or is that just getting cocky now?

And in case you haven't seen the video yet:

Huron \ Happiness

Check out my latest video "Huron \ Happiness." This footage has been laying around since last August when I spent a weekend near Lake Erie with my family. After several attempts to edit the footage and constant song choice changes, not to mention not having a computer for seven months, the film finally came together. "Happiness" by Riceboy Sleeps was the inspiration I needed to see the project through. I thought the original cut was boring and too repitive so I threw in a ton of effects for an arsty fartsy look (although some of the effects aren't very clear in this youtube version). Enjoy and let me know what you think!

New Holiday World Video Uploaded

Defiance < Valkyrie

I screened Defiance the other day and I must say I was not very impressed. Or entertained. The reviews I heard of Valkyrie were slightly negative whereas Defiance review were positive. After watching both I think just the opposite. Valkyrie was riveting and Defiance was cheesy and looked liked production was rushed. The story was one I had never heard of before and had potential, which makes it even more sad that it ended up being so lame. If you're going to rent a WWII movie I would chose Tom Cruise over Daniel Craig.

Operation Valkyrie is in Effect

I really don't understand all of the negative hype and bad reviews of Valkyrie. I screened the film for the first time last night and I thought it was a good movie. The fact that you know how the story ends but it still keeps you captivated and is suspenseful speaks volumes about the film. I think there are just a lot of Tom Cruise haters out there for whatever reason. That and apparently many critics had a big problem with the fact most of the actors were English and therefore did not have German accents. This could also be a case of wrong expectations heading into the film as well. In the end, it is a great story, which trumps movies that "well the effects and the action were cool" because you are more likely to remember what happened and it makes you think about things. What courage it took to carry a bomb into the Wolf's Lair not knowing when it was going to go off, knowing if you failed you were dead. Can you imagine having one let alone twenty attempts on your life?

Kennywood Adventureland Contest

Kennywood has a contest to win tickets to the park if you submit a photo of yourself that you think looks like one of the stars from the movie Adventureland. http://www.kennywood.com/alcontest/form/script/lookalike.php

Vote for me under Frigo or enter yourself to win. Each contestant receives complementary admission* to the park Saturday, May 2!

Also, did anyone see the movie and what did you think? I would have like it more if it used less drugs and more park shots but that's just me. Really the movie could've been located at any crappy summer job place (super market, fast food, etc.).